Actually, It’s Been Kinda Like This for Me Since Fourth Grade

Peekabo, I Almost See You:

Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to
    lead it,
But there comes a day when your eyes
    are all right but your arm isn't long
    enough
    to hold the telephone book where you      can read it,
And your friends get jocular, so you go
    to the oculist,
And of all your friends he is the joculist,
So over his facetiousness let us skim,
Only noting that he has been waiting for you ever since
    you said Good evening to his grandfather clock under
    the impression that it was him,
And you look at his chart and it says SHRDLU QWERTYOP,
    and you say Well, why SHRDNTLU QWERTYOP? and he
    says one set of glasses won't do.
You need two.
One for reading Erle Stanley Gardner's Perry Mason and
    Keats's "Endymion" with,
And the other for walking around without saying Hello
    to strange wymion with.
So you spend your time taking off your seeing glasses to put
    on your reading glasses, and then remembering that your
    reading glasses are upstairs or in the car,
And then you can't find your seeing glasses again because
    without them on you can't see where they are.
Enough of such mishaps, they would try the patience of an
    ox,
I prefer to forget both pairs of glasses and pass my declining
    years saluting strange women and grandfather clocks.

Ogden Nash.

PS - Blogger is shit when it comes to certain formatting, and I'm too lazy to figure it out right now, so the text background is weird.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯