Oh tell me why? Why? Why? Why the ceiling still shakes?

"An epic starring the most icy scalpel of a piano motif ever to cut to the heart of trauma."

おほけなく

ōkenaku:

Unfit, yet
The common folk of this cruel world
Would I cover,
Standing in this timber-grove
With sleeves stained black.

Jien.

I Danced in Laughter with the Ever-After

Ericka's BFF recently sent me this pic of her and Neptune (20-ish years ago?).

Look how young they both are!  Might seem paradoxical, but I'm still feeling a bit raw 7 months after her death, ngl.  Hell, I guess I'm still feeling a bit raw from when we lost Neppy and Kayla within 2 weeks of each other back in 2012.  And in less than a month, it'll be 20 years since Mom died.  Jesus fuck...

The Pseudo Intelligence Age

Recently finished my latest re-read of Dune, this time including Brian's sequels (which were not so bad as I feared based on my experience with his prequels).  Since I have been deep into building out new tools and curricula in the AI space, I've been thinking a lot about Stephenson's The Diamond Age, so decided to jump back into that for the first time in 30 years.

It's the subtitle that did it for me: A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer.  In essence, what I've been trying to do with AI to enhance our learning environments is build a tool that grows with the learner.  Not just to automate shit, or to remove the human (me!) from the loop, but to take advantage of real capabilities that will support my learners on their learning journey.  Not so fancy as Nell's nanotech Primer, but of a piece.

So I now have a Socratic engine that is more of a mentor (and evaluator) than an answer generator or teacher, which adapts and meets each individual learner where they are, and requires them to use their own cognition.  And actually, for the new cohort I have starting after Memorial Day, it serves as an example of the kind of thing I am teaching them to build, with observability, and all the code and prompts and other assets exposed so they can tear it apart.

There's still a great deal of tension between my personal ethics and what I must do to keep my job so I can continue housing, feeding, and clothing my children.  Yeah, even that justification is a bit hollow, but it's the reality I am grappling with.  My reasoning now is that if I do not build a tool that aligns with my philosophical inclinations, somebody else will build something that goes the opposite direction.

So I've designed things to explicitly address ethics, responsible use, cognitive surrender, etc.  Really, taking my early work on Brother William and extending it directly into how I deliver courses in a time of constant change and pressure to use AI.  I've baked in a lot of pedagogical "stings" that force them to engage metacognitively, pushing back on the tool, making ethical decisions, and whatnot.

In one of the other programs I teach (AWS re/Start), I just kicked off a month of AI/ML sessions, and I began with Diamond Age before we got into foundation models or anything technical.  I reminded my learners that “AI” does not think, reason, or possess consciousness.  It only “knows” a description of the world that it does not really interact with, generating plausible output that gives the appearance of intelligence.  I was inspired by this passage:

“Public relations?” said Finkle-McGraw. 

“Sir?” Modern etiquette was streamlined; no “Your Grace” or other honorifics were necessary in such an informal setting. 

“Your department, sir.” 

Hackworth had given him his social card, which was appropriate under these circumstances but revealed nothing else. “Engineering. Bespoke.” 

“Oh, really. I'd thought anyone who could recognise Wordsworth must be one of those artsy sorts in P.R.”  

“Not in this case, sir. I'm an engineer. Just promoted to Bespoke recently. Did some work on this project, as it happens.” 

“What sort of work?” 

“Oh, P.I. stuff mostly,” Hackworth said. Supposedly Finkle-McGraw still kept up with things and would recognize the abbreviation for pseudo-intelligence, and perhaps even appreciate that Hackworth had made this assumption. 

Finkle-McGraw brightened a bit. “You know, when I was a lad they called it A.I. Artificial intelligence.” 

Hackworth allowed himself a tight, narrow, and brief smile. “Well, there's something to be said for cheekiness, I suppose.”

I told the class that I prefer the term PI because "Artificial Intelligence" suggests we've invented a thinking machine, one that is truly intelligent, rather than just another fancy form of computing and abstraction that mimics intelligence.  If I had my druthers, I'd actually go further and call it Virtual Intelligence, only because one of my old jokes is that the word 'virtual' means everything after it is a lie¹, but PI works fine.

Terminology aside, I think generally I'll have a receptive audience in my latest cohort as we explore this scary new world together.  I'm seeing recently-minted grads actively refuse the party line on AI's inevitability, and it gives me hope that they will use their own Organic Intelligence to do the right things for the right reasons.

I close with Dr King:

The means by which we live have outdistanced the ends for which we live. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided man. 

Like the rich man of old, we have foolishly minimized the internal of our lives and maximized the external. We have absorbed life in livelihood. We will not find peace in our generation until we learn anew that "a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth," but in those inner treasuries of the spirit which "no thief² approacheth, neither moth corrupteth." 

Selah.

1 - A Virtual Private Network is not, in fact, physically private, but with encryption and logical isolation can be treated as such.  A Virtual Circuit is not a circuit, and rather packet-switched with other control features to be circuit-ish enough for government work.  Etc.

2 - Every artist might not be a cannibal, but every AI is a thief.  A thief of intellectual property, a thief of human dignity, a thief that has no inner treasury of spirit.

I'm ready for the shuffle, ready for the deal

But when he sings that line, why does Bono shoot craps?

The Bees Just Need to Stay Outside

The honey-bees are gumming
On their little wings, and humming
That the summer, which is coming,
Will be fun.
For the spring is really springing;
You can see a skylark singing,
And the blue-bells, which are ringing,
Can be heard.
~A.A.Milne pic.twitter.com/EjmI0E1pnR

— A.A.Milne (@A_AMilne) May 16, 2026

The Arc of the Moral Universe Is Long

There's a major civil rights protest taking place in Selma, Alabama, right now in response to the SCOTUS decision that weakened the Voting Rights Act and the ongoing attack on Black Americans’ political power

(video: defiancedispatch/IG) pic.twitter.com/tk7fmq3U8i

— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) May 16, 2026

It might bend toward justice, but it can just as easily snap back if we don't actively keep bending. 'twas ever thus...

We Pray for One Last Landing on the Globe That Gave Us Birth

May 16, 1963, 23:24:02 UTC, South-east of Midway Island, Pacific Ocean:

Glenn gave a ten-second countdown to retrofire. Cooper kept the spacecraft aligned at a 34° pitchdown angle and manually fired the retrorockets on "Mark!".

Cooper had drawn lines on the window to stay aligned with constellations as he flew the craft. He later said he used his wristwatch to time the burn and his eyes to maintain attitude.

The crew of USS Kearsarge spells out "MERCURY 9" on the flight deck while underway to the recovery area.

Fifteen minutes later Faith 7 landed just four miles (6 km) from the prime recovery ship, the carrier USS Kearsarge. This was the most accurate landing to date, despite the lack of automatic controls. Faith 7 landed 70 nautical miles (130 km) southeast of Midway Island, in the Pacific Ocean. This would be near  WikiMiniAtlas27°30′N 176°15′W.

Splashdown was at 34 hours 19 minutes 49 seconds after liftoff. The spacecraft tipped over in the water momentarily, then righted itself. Helicopters dropped rescue swimmers and relayed Cooper's request of an Air Force officer for permission to be hoisted aboard the Navy's carrier. Permission was granted. Forty minutes later the explosive hatch blew open on the deck of Kearsarge. Cooper stepped out of Faith 7 to a warm greeting.

Fast forward to the final launch of Endeavor on this date, 48 years later:

STS-134 was planned to be the final regularly scheduled mission of the NASA Space Shuttle Program, but with the passing in 2011 of an appropriations bill authorizing the conversion of STS-335 to STS-135, this was no longer the case. It was also originally scheduled to coincide with Expedition 26 before delays in the Space Shuttle launch schedule pushed it past that Expedition. If STS-134 had launched during Expedition 26, then Mark Kelly and Expedition 26 commander Scott Kelly would have become the first siblings (and twins) to fly in space at the same time.

Shuttle Commander Mark Kelly's wife, U.S. Representative Gabby Giffords, flew to the Kennedy Space Center (KSC) in Florida to view the first launch attempt, her first trip since moving from Tucson to Houston for rehabilitation after being seriously wounded in the January 2011 Tucson shooting. On May 16, Giffords was again at KSC for the launch, which was "one of the most anticipated in years," according to The New York Times.

Looks like a fun crew.  A bit about their mission patch:

The design of the STS-134 crew patch highlights research on the International Space Station (ISS) focusing on the fundamental physics of the universe. On this mission, the crew of Space Shuttle Endeavour will install the Alpha Magnetic Spectrometer (AMS) experiment - a cosmic particle detector. By studying sub-atomic particles in the background cosmic radiation, and searching for anti-matter and dark-matter, it will help scientists better understand the evolution and properties of our universe. 

The shape of the patch is inspired by the international atomic symbol, and represents the atom with orbiting electrons around the nucleus. The burst near the center refers to the big-bang theory and the origin of the universe. The Space Shuttle Endeavour and ISS fly together into the sunrise over the limb of Earth, representing the dawn of a new age, understanding the nature of the universe.

All good programs come to an end, with the hopes of new beginnings...

How keen the storied hunter's eye prevails upon the land

To seek the unsuspecting and the weak.

tormented mind tormenting

["My own heart let me more have pity on"]:

My own heart let me more have pity on; let

Me live to my sad self hereafter kind,

Charitable; not live this tormented mind

With this tormented mind tormenting yet.

 

I cast for comfort I can no more get

By groping round my comfortless, than blind

Eyes in their dark can day or thirst can find

Thirst's all-in-all in all a world of wet.

 

Soul, self; come, poor Jackself, I do advise

You, jaded, lét be; call off thoughts awhile

Elsewhere; leave comfort root-room; let joy size

 

At God knows when to God knows what; whose smile

'S not wrung, see you; unforeseen times rather—as skies

Betweenpie mountains—lights a lovely mile.

Gerard Manley Hopkins.

I exploit you, still you love me

I tell you one and one makes three.

PS - Never been a major concert goer, but I've seen these guys twice.  At Bowdoin, and Lollapalooza '91.  The only other band I've seen twice is Blues Traveler.  Yes, I've only seen Yes once.  Crazy.

I Can’t Hold You Down If You Want to Fly

To the Skylark:

Ethereal minstrel! pilgrim of the sky!

Dost thou despise the earth where cares abound?

Or, while the wings aspire, are heart and eye

Both with thy nest upon the dewy ground?

Thy nest which thou canst drop into at will,

Those quivering wings composed, that music still!

Leave to the nightingale her shady wood;

A privacy of glorious light is thine;

Whence thou dost pour upon the world a flood

Of harmony, with instinct more divine;

Type of the wise who soar, but never roam;

True to the kindred points of Heaven and Home!

William Wordsworth.

Skylab

Happy Skylab Launch Day to all who celebrate!  Weird to remember that it happened, as did all the Apollo missions, with Vietnam as backdrop.  Anyway, 53 years ago today:

Skylab was launched on May 14, 1973, by the modified Saturn V. The launch is sometimes referred to as Skylab 1. Severe damage was sustained during launch and deployment, including the loss of the station's micrometeoroid shield/sun shade and one of its main solar panels. Debris from the lost micrometeoroid shield became tangled in the remaining solar panel, preventing its full deployment and thus leaving the station with a huge power deficit.

Immediately following Skylab's launch, Pad 39A at Kennedy Space Center was deactivated, and construction proceeded to modify it for the Space Shuttle program, originally targeting a maiden launch in March 1979. The crewed missions to Skylab would occur using a Saturn IB rocket from Launch Pad 39B.

Skylab 2, the first crewed mission, was supposed to launch the following day, but the damage caused delays:

The Skylab station suffered significant damage on its May 14 launch: its micrometeorite shield and one of its primary solar arrays had torn loose during launch, and the remaining primary solar array was jammed. Without the shield which was designed to also provide thermal protection, Skylab baked in the Sun, and rising temperatures inside the workshop released toxic materials into the station's atmosphere and endangered on-board film and food. 

The first crew was supposed to launch on May 15, but instead had to train practicing repair techniques as they were developed by the engineers. Ground controllers purged the atmosphere with pure nitrogen four times, before refilling it with the nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere for the crew. The secret National Reconnaissance Office used a KH-8 Gambit 3 to photograph the damaged station.

On May 25, Skylab 2 lifted from LC-39B, the first Saturn IB launch in almost five years and only the second-ever launch from Pad 39B. 

Pete Conrad, who was CDR on Apollo 12, commanded the mission.  Here's some of his perspective from Chaikin's A Man on the Moon: The Voyages of the Apollo Astronauts:

When Pete Conrad looks back on his spaceflight career, the high point isn’t his lunar landing: it is the rescue of the Skylab space station in 1973. The station’s outer shield, which protected it against heat and micrometeorites, was torn off during launch, taking one of its power-producing solar panels with it. Getting power to Skylab depended on freeing the remaining wing, which was lashed down by debris. 

Conrad’s crew, who had been preparing for a month-long mission aboard Skylab, was now faced with carrying out a demanding repair. Arriving at the stricken station, they sweltered in desertlike heat for days until they could erect a makeshift sunshield. Two weeks into the flight, Conrad and his crewmate Joe Kerwin made a space walk and, with some difficulty, freed the stuck solar wing. Today, Conrad looks back with a healthy appreciation of the risks he took. 

“My life was a lot further out on the line . . . on Skylab than it was on the moon,” Conrad says. “That taxed me personally, put everything that I had spent my whole life . . . learning how to do, on the line . . . . Going to the moon was basically a nice, routine flight after the lightning. We didn’t have any trouble after that. On Skylab we didn’t know whether we [would leave] or stay for fourteen days.” In 1978, Congress recognized the success by awarding Conrad the newly created Space Medal of Honor. 

“Everybody thinks I got the Space Medal of Honor because I went to the moon. I say, ‘No, it was for Skylab.’ They say, ‘Oh, Skylab. Yes. What was Skylab?’ ” It’s the moon that people want to hear about, and like all his colleagues, when Conrad is introduced as one of the twenty-four men who went there, the question he is almost always asked is, What was it like? And he gives the neat, two-second answer he developed long ago: “Super! Really enjoyed it.”

Pete really enjoyed the space shower, too, I guess.

I will never forget when Skylab came crashing down.  I was visiting my grandparents in North Carolina, breathlessly waiting for the teevee news to announce when it actually hit the planet, hoping it didn't land on us (narrator: it didn't, Chicken Little).  And now we've had continuous occupation of ISS for 25 years.  

Progress is not linear, but we do often learn...

#throwbackthursday

Hard to believe how not gray my beard was at one time.  (2014)