Up, up, up against the wall, motherfuckers!

Man, social media would've been lit back during the SLA days.

Efter någons död

After Someone’s Death:

Once there was a shock

that left behind a long, pale, shimmering comet’s tail.

It shelters us. It makes the TV images fuzzy.

It settles in cold droplets on the power lines.

You can still shuffle along on skis in the winter sun

through groves where last year’s leaves hang on.

Like pages torn from old telephone books—

all of the names swallowed up by the cold.

It’s still pleasant to feel the heart beating.

But the shadow often seems more real than the body.

The samurai looks insignificant

beside his armor of black dragon scales.

Tomas Tranströmer.

Well, the Weeks Went by and Spring Turned to Summer

RMJ on Max Miller, who reportedly engaged in psychological abuse, including withholding his daughter's favorite toy:

I know I’m only reading headlines, but according to them, this reprehensible representative has kept the favorite doll of his daughter away from her on multiple occasions. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.

Why this man is not restricted to severely limited, supervised visitations, is beyond me. 34 years ago when I was practicing family law, I could have gotten those limitations on a father like this just on the headline record I’ve read.

I am baffled by the lack of concern for the best interests of this poor child.

Abuse is about control, leveraging any and all levers to exert it, which includes fucking with personal belongings.  Ericka destroyed a lot of our things; especially, but not exclusively, my family heirlooms (she also forced me to get rid of so much stuff).  I made the King County Superior Court Clerk smile and say, "oh, that's so sweet, I've never seen that before," when I'd indicated explicitly that I wanted possession of my 50yo teddy bear on my DVPO application¹.  I wasn't about to let my abuser take away one of the very last things I've had since childhood.

I was granted a temporary order on January 17, 2020.  The most dangerous point in a relationship with abusers is when you are leaving, particularly when you get a court order².  Fortunately, I guess, Ericka did not engage in lethal violence, but filed for her own order on January 23 (literally the day after I quit drinking).  That's when I took my teddy bear to an undisclosed location, where I lived until our permanent order was granted on April 9.

After the ex parte phase of our saga ended, and we entered the adversarial process, we were given joint custody of the kids with weekly swaps.  Our initial exchanges were set up to be "touchless": Ericka would drop them at school, and I'd pick them up (that lasted just a couple weeks before COVID shutdown school, so we switched to the fire station where there were cameras and people who could intervene in a crisis).

First time, though, I went to get the kids and discovered that she had not sent them with any clothes or items of comfort.  Good thing at the time there was a second-hand clothing store on island where I was able to acquire some items to stretch until their mother finally deigned to leave some suitcases at the school for them a couple days later.

Ericka was, like most abusers, constitutionally unable give up the manipulation (not to mention avoid behavior in violation of court orders), even when Family Court Services and Child Protective Services were investigating both of us as our case proceeded.  Just a small part of the extensive, disturbing pattern that thankfully became crystal clear to all observers, which is why I'm here with the kids more than six years later, and she is not.

I hope Emily Moreno and her daughter stay safe.  I also hope more people learn about the fucked up dynamics of domestic violence, and why survivors often can't imagine leaving.

Selah.

1 - I also specifically granted her use of my Land Rover, just so she'd leave the island.  When we lived in Vermont, Ericka went out and bought two cars without my input, and without my name on the titles.  She would threaten to call the cops on me if I drove them without her permission.  When I bought my car, I was the only title holder, but it still was essentially her car.  Such is the nature of abuse.

2 - But Earl walked right through that restraining order...a song that Ericka would ironically sing.  Always off key, which was actually one of the most endearing things about her, and I miss it unironically.

Noone ever knows or loves another

I want Olivia and Robert to do this one together someday.

Try to Feel the Splendor of It All

Siren Song:

This is the one song everyone

would like to learn: the song

that is irresistible:

the song that forces men

to leap overboard in squadrons

even though they see the beached skulls

the song nobody knows

because anyone who has heard it

is dead, and the others can't remember.

Shall I tell you the secret

and if I do, will you get me

out of this bird suit?

I don't enjoy it here

squatting on this island

looking picturesque and mythical

with these two feathery maniacs,

I don't enjoy singing

this trio, fatal and valuable.

I will tell the secret to you,

to you, only to you.

Come closer. This song

is a cry for help: Help me!

Only you, only you can,

you are unique

at last. Alas

it is a boring song

but it works every time.

Margaret Atwood.

Look How They Massacred My Boy

My beloved 171st Street stop last week.

That's...not a local scene.

This is nice, I guess.

Whew, the Little Free Li(ghter)brary is still there.

Anyway, guess some drunk crashed through our lovely shelter.  Kudos to King County Metro for getting things cleaned up pretty quickly.  Disappointing that we've lost the unique character of that custom tile work depicting scenes from Vashon.

All y'all be safe out there...

#throwbackthursday

The most feared biker gang in Fletcher, VT.  (2011)

Well, good for you

Can't help it, I really love this song.

when you are no longer surprised by the quiet or fury of daybreak

When You Are Not Surprised:

when you are not surprised

by death and death and death

death of the bee in the daffodil

death of color in the child’s cheek

on the young mother’s breast

death of sense of touch of sight

death of delight

and the inward death the inward turning night

when the heart hardens itself with hate and indifference   

for hated self and beloved not-self

when you are not surprised

by wheel’s turn or turn of season

the winged and orbed chariot tilt of time   

the halcyon pause, the blue caesura of spring   

and solar rhyme

woven into the divinely remembered nest   

by the dark-eyed love in the oriole’s breast   

and the tides of space that ring the heart

while still, while still, the wave of the invisible world   

breaks into consciousness in the mind of god

then welcome death and be by death benignly welcomed   

and join again in the ceaseless know-nothing   

from which you awoke to the first surprise.

Conrad Aiken.

If anyone asks, I'm feeling great

I'm not even mad, look at my face.

Now That You Mention It

Art thou pale for weariness:

Art thou pale for weariness

Of climbing heaven and gazing on the earth,

Wandering companionless

Among the stars that have a different birth,

And ever changing, like a joyless eye

That finds no object worth its constancy?

Percy Bysshe Shelley.

The Time Has Come, the Walrus Said, to Talk of Many Things

This was nice to see on LinkedIn today from one of my re/Start learners:

🙏 A Special Word for Todd Pritsky

Todd, you are, without exaggeration, one of the most inspiring educators I have ever encountered. Your generosity in sharing knowledge, your humility despite your extraordinary expertise, you carry decades of deep, practical wisdom, yet you teach with the openness and patience of someone who remembers exactly what it feels like to learn something for the first time.

The way you delivered every class — with clarity, passion, and genuine care — didn't just teach me cloud computing. It ignited something in me. It made me think: "I want to do this too. I want to inspire others the way this man inspires me."

And so I did. Today, I am an AWS Academy Certified Educator, and I can trace that decision directly back to you. Your example gave me the courage to believe that I, too, could guide others through this incredible journey.

Todd, you are living proof that the best teachers don't just transfer knowledge — they transform lives. Thank you for being a beacon of what excellence in education looks like.

Gracias totales. 🚀☁️

I note this with some bittersweet news: the TechU program that I have been a part of my entire 7-year tenure at AWS is no more.  Yet another reorg announced today, and my team has been split apart under the Skilling and Social Impact (SSI) banner.

I'm staying with my awesome boss as part of her new SSI Learning Innovation team, where I get to apply my decades of experience not only in design and delivery of training, but also in building systems and processes to support everything across the SSI organization, including re/Start, Academy, and the Skills Centers (I've mentioned previously I taught several of their special offerings for the University of Texas at Dallas).  I'll be teaching a bit less, but doing a lot more fun things (talking about EC2 for the eleventy millionth time has gotten a bit tedious, ngl), and partnering with my former instructor teammates to make their deliveries effective in this new AI-dominated world.

Change is always scary, yet provides opportunities.  One thing in particular that I'm excited about is I am charged with making sure the tools I built and methodologies I put together for a successful pilot this summer will continue to grow, expanding to new audiences and addressing the challenges of today in ways I could only dream of when my career began way back in the 20th century.  

The SSI organization allows me to lean into who and what I am (a talkative geek) whilst doing some actual good.  Maybe not quite in the same manner or to the same degree as my work at HealthLeads or with affordable housing back in Vermont, but more fulfilling than just teaching people how to use technology to make money and increase shareholder value.

In conclusion: I still get to talk of many things that I love (and get paid to do so).

Selah.

PS - Sent that post to my boss, who responded: "One he called you old Two you are brilliant".  Then she shared it out on the SSI Slack channel, so now everybody knows I'm old.